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Dull, monotonous, lethargic; why must these toils linger?
Where went my vigor? My strength?
I talk, think, and wonder - pondering the future
These words continue at length
Or maybe these adjectives crop out the brightness
Vivacious, my true self unharmed
All that I seek stands beyond the door yonder
Grab the knob, girl, and don't be alarmed
Perhaps what I want is a different sort
The moments some toss to the wind
Waves crash, fill my goggles - sight lost it seems for good
All this because I've yet sinned
Drowning then silent, the darkness near welcome
My thoughts now a meager history
The mind of Another, more wise being filling
Consumed, here it goes..... Then the glory
Oh Father, how wrong was I blaming my woes
upon Your torn back by my actions?
Disheartened, I lacked proper sight of the state
This time now split up into factions
Some wither, some wear, I turn- can't stop spinning
Alone? How far wrong could I be?
Instead of oblivion, a light shines ahead
The truth here for all- even me
Yes of course, choose true freedom!--My heart shouts the answer
My soul now no longer despairs
Jesus Christ, Savior, Lord- you're the King I've been lacking
Your Name alone is what repairs
Assurance and joy- just two words define future
How quickly You allowed me to see
Once was sinful and broken, forgotten and dead
Now alive, well, and praising eternally!
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If you struggle with mental illness, too, just know that I love you and Jesus loves you more than any person ever can. He is ever-present, and HIS LOVE NEVER FAILS.
It's okay to not be okay.
It's okay to seek advice.
It's okay to seek medical care.
You are loved.
You are worthy.
You are made for more than mental illness.
You are made for FREEDOM.
If you ever want to learn more about mental illness, I would be willing to share what I know. (But also keep in mind that none of us are necessarily experts, either.) Not everything is easily explained. We understand when you don't fully get it because we don't either. What we appreciate most is when you take the time to listen and try to understand even just a little bit more.
Thank you for reading, everyone! I hope this encourages you and lets you know that others have been in dark places, too--but those places are NOT our destination. I love you. God is good.
Thanks, Jesus. I couldn't do this without You.
UPDATE: Please also check out this link- it shows my heart and the heart of many of us Christians who struggle with mental illnesses to the point that we require medication.
Explaining Meds to Fellow Christians