My experience with anxiety has taught me so much and continues to do so.
When I was little, my siblings would jump off of their swings, and I was too scared. That defined me--being too nervous to try things that weren't actually life-threatening. So I just went through life thinking I would be different--thinking I would never be able to do all the things other kids enjoyed. It was fine for awhile, but remaining in that place crippled me in a way. Once I was diagnosed with anxiety and became medicated, I was able to experience life anew.
Freedom was possible.
Jesus gave me support in the forms of family, friends, and healthcare. I am so grateful that I life is closer to normal for me (if "normal" really exists). My testimony through anxiety has shown me how good God is--He provides ways for us to come alongside one another to speak truth and life.
With this said, please take the time to read a poem I wrote this summer about anxiety and how God has changed my life for the better.
Anxiety
By Jennifer Lewis
8/3/15
Anxiety
My world was whole
A child, I stood gazing at the rooms that held all I knew
The house was everything
Our swingset, though, it gave me pause
Time slowed, laughter rang, my siblings bounded forth to the grass
That's dangerous
Anxiety
My view expanded
Reality holding more than I dared seek
Safety was everything
My family kept me there--happy
This was peace when joyful times I knew would last
Ignore this
Anxiety
Vulnerability sometimes grows with age
Now knowing more, I'd prefer a cage
You see, the outside is unknown--scary
I'll never go away, mommy--I promised
My solution
Anxiety
New did not mean better
Instead, trying meant terror within my fragile mind
Why panic without due cause?
Clock ticking, noise ringing, stomach churning til I'm free
Claim safety
Anxiety
To cope, I talked
Medication can be a necessity
But with that is appetite and apathy
Two things that lead me down a rabbit hole too often
Oh well
Anxiety
Accuracy not dependency
True peace held before me
God's eyes show love and acceptance
Despite my failures all along
I'm free
