Anxiety

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My experience with anxiety has taught me so much and continues to do so. 

When I was little, my siblings would jump off of their swings, and I was too scared. That defined me--being too nervous to try things that weren't actually life-threatening. So I just went through life thinking I would be different--thinking I would never be able to do all the things other kids enjoyed. It was fine for awhile, but remaining in that place crippled me in a way. Once I was diagnosed with anxiety and became medicated, I was able to experience life anew. 

Freedom was possible.

Jesus gave me support in the forms of family, friends, and healthcare. I am so grateful that I life is closer to normal for me (if "normal" really exists). My testimony through anxiety has shown me how good God is--He provides ways for us to come alongside one another to speak truth and life. 

With this said, please take the time to read a poem I wrote this summer about anxiety and how God has changed my life for the better.

Anxiety

By Jennifer Lewis

8/3/15

Anxiety

My world was whole

A child, I stood gazing at the rooms that held all I knew

The house was everything

Our swingset, though, it gave me pause

Time slowed, laughter rang, my siblings bounded forth to the grass

That's dangerous

Anxiety

My view expanded

Reality holding more than I dared seek

Safety was everything

My family kept me there--happy

This was peace when joyful times I knew would last

Ignore this

Anxiety

Vulnerability sometimes grows with age

Now knowing more, I'd prefer a cage

You see, the outside is unknown--scary

I'll never go away, mommy--I promised

My solution

Anxiety

New did not mean better

Instead, trying meant terror within my fragile mind

Why panic without due cause?

Clock ticking, noise ringing, stomach churning til I'm free

Claim safety

Anxiety

To cope, I talked

Medication can be a necessity

But with that is appetite and apathy

Two things that lead me down a rabbit hole too often

Oh well

Anxiety

Accuracy not dependency

True peace held before me

God's eyes show love and acceptance

Despite my failures all along

I'm free